Initially, I wasn't too fond of the word "single" in this blog post's title. So true to form, I zipped on over to Dictionary.com to borrow some of the thesaurus' vocabulary. But instead of finding a synonym that really stuck me, I actually had to pause at one of the definitions. Which is:
Financial Dictionary
Single definition
The filing status used by a taxpayer who is unmarried and does not qualify for any other filing status.
Hmm...and this is the first listed definition ladies and gentlemen. It all comes down to money- the almighty dollar. And well, I'm not surprised. I experienced this first-hand while filling out my divorce paperwork. It's so strange. When you're young (at least us girls) dream about meeting the prince, falling in love, and so on and so forth and living happily ever after. But when you get a divorce, no one asks about the love. Or about the heart of it all. It's all business. Simple, cut and dry, unemotional business. Who gets what; who wants wants; who goes where. And I wouldn't begin to argue with this. In truth, marriage is simply the merging (and unfortunately, sometimes the division) of assets. It's a commitment and a safety net. A union of logic and love. And it almost feels like neither of those pairs really fit together.
So with another love lost- it's no more his and her sinks. Now yours and mine. And nearly everyday I give a long, hard look to that one, single toothbrush- giving consideration to all it means. And while I celebrate the independence declared in a word like "single", I also grieve the loneliness implied with it.
Funnily enough, my intentions were to write a more chipper blog post. If not for that definition, I believe I would have. So it really make you (or perhaps, just me) ponder at what's in a word...
I know what you mean Steph. My divorce still is not finalized, but my ex- wife and I do not have the typical problems when faced with divorce...THANK GOD! No children, no money to separate, nothing. She took what she needed and I took what I needed. But you are right. Love is a big part of the beginning, but finances usually is what the end is about. I think it is like that because of what a couple accrues 'together' when they have that closeness. Personally, the woman I just split up with, my ex-girlfriend; not the ex- wife, (and it's not like that, I was single for 2 yrs following separation)kept separate everything. And I do believe that is how it should be. My next statement will probably drive you to want to kill me, but this is just a generalization, and I do not think all women are like this- but most married couples have 'THEIR money' and then there is 'HER money'. And I have experienced this too. But this is why I believe there should be separate everything. Just because you keep separate possessions doesn't mean there is no love there.
ReplyDeleteBut anyway, I am looking forward to being single. I never really have lived for myself as a single grown man. I was married, so I always had someone to take care of and consider in decisions. Now I come and go as I please. Someone is out there for me but not right now. Remember- Love always starts with a smile, grows with a kiss and dies with a teardrop.
I totally agree, I filed for divore per request of my ex, when I did so, he decides that isn't what he wants. Well ladies the way I look at it is that if a man puts alochol before and then destroyes the house and starts to become not only verbally abusive to you, and starts the physical abuse to you its time for a new beginning. If you love someone this doesn't happen to you!! Life is too short, and there is so much happiness to find don't cut yourself short!! Happiness is around the corner no-one deserves this!!
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