Plans

Today was unexpectedly difficult. Though, in a culinary respect, it was a fairly successful day. Here's the sequence of main events: woke up, thought about him, had breakfast, thought about him, made a strawberry snack cake, thought about him, ate cake in excess, thought about him, talked to him, cried, made dinner (broiled BBQ tofu, roasted brussels sprouts, and scalloped potatoes), thought about him, ate, washed dishes, thought about him, cried, brushed my teeth, sat down at my laptop, wrote about him. Ah! Food and love- what an appropriately titled blog. Not to seem like some typical lovesick twenty-something! In this moment, I'd love nothing more than to not be a twenty-something. It's an odd age. A time when you're planning on doing all these things that society says you'll want to do and that you should do. But how much of my today should I allow societal expectations to dictate? How did everyone get so sure of what I will accomplish? And how do I trust when they say that forgoing happiness today will insure it in some unspecified tomorrow? Still, I'm a twenty-something and what do I know? In truth, I have much more of others' experience to go off of than my own. And apparently, I have only questions. So I trust because I realize that my plans are only hopeful estimates of my personal tomorrow. And in the meantime I'll "get an education", "work hard" and "save for retirement". If I'm lucky, one day, I'll "get married and have babies". And while I endure this path of conventionalism, I'll take solace in my home- the kitchen. And I'll create love in plate-sized form. I suppose that will have to do for now.